Last month was hectic. I moved out of my parents house to an apartment in Northampton, Massachusetts am supporting myself off eBay and Amazon. It’s stressful to say the least.
Here’s what my room looks like now:
So here is my (net) income breakdown of the month:
My business has been a shit-show: I don’t have consistent packing/ shipping supplies, I don’t have a printer and have to go to my parents or the library to print shipping labels, and I’ve been going home about 2x per week for therapy and one shift at a health food store per week. This figure is much less than I would like, but it’s OK for such a hectic month.
I sold an old Singer sewing machine as well as some tail lights for a pickup truck on craigslist.
Amazon Kindle: $2.8
I haven’t released a book for a few months. I don’t think this platform is worth my time. Amazon takes most of the royalties and most of my books have sold 1 or less copies.
Amazon FBA: $146.37
I just started an Amazon Pro Account, so this is an alright start. I mainly sold video games.
Grand total: $2062.74
That’s kind of a depressing number. For the amount of work that I put into eBay I would think this number would be at least twice as high. But as the famous line goes:
Doing these income reports is good because it makes me face reality. A lot of the time I find myself thinking how good I’m getting at eBay and how I’m making a ton of money, and then I do the math and realize that I’m about $10,000 above the poverty line (assuming I make this $$ each month).
Fuck man. It’s realizations like this that make me want to give up. But I’m not that type of person. It typically takes me longer than expected to get the results I want. Also it usually takes me longer than people doing the same task. This has been true for activities like wrestling, where people who wrestled for 4 years got to a skill level which took me about 10 years. But you know what? I got there. Fuck it. I’ll keep working smarter and harder.
I will stop beating myself up constantly. When I’m working I’m thinking ‘I should be socializing’ and when I’m social I think of all the work I could be doing.. FUCK IT!!! If I want to work a lot then that’s fucking fine. Yes relationships are important, but money stresses me out so much, so having more of it will make my relationships better. When this thought comes up next time I will say ‘Thank you mind for wanting me to make friends. I will go socialize tonight after I’m done doing this. Helping me focus will get this task done faster and so I can socialize faster.’
But that looping thought isn’t an actual concern it’s the fucking resistance disguising itself as my fear. My fear of having no friends. My fear of being utterly alone.
I’m going to focus on clothing on eBay, I’m going to do about 10 hours of work on this blog per week this month, and I’ll keep making connections, developing myself with self discipline, and overall learning and earning more money. You’ll get there man. You just moved out. In 6 months you’ll be making 4x this amount.