My college was a huge bar school. There were about 20 bars in downtown Columbia and every weekend we would put on our polo shirts and jeans and go to the bars. Of course the main reason for going was to try and get laid, but my friends and I never admitted that to ourselves. For the year and a half or so of bar hopping I brought exactly one girl back to my dorm room. And she was fat. At least 50 pounds overweight.

I was so frustrated walking back to my apartment alone night after night.

“What is wrong with me?”

“I am such a loser”

“Other guys get laid so much easier”

These thoughts tormented me for days on end. Yes, it’s true that I entertained them and indulged in the self pity, but nonetheless, the lack of sex gets discouraging.

My health is something that I take seriously. Partly out of fear of cancer and to overcome depression, but also because I like to look attractive.

Right now I am reading a book called the The Confidence Gap in which the author asserts that many of us are stuck in the this gap of confidence: we do not go after the things we want because we first want to feel more confident, but, in reality, we will never feel confident until we gain experience. Sex and talking to women is that area for me.

I used to watch a lot of porn. Porn was bad for my sex life. It made it easier to objectify women and become complacent from the pixels on the screen rather than going out to meet living human beings.

Modern civilization has a lot of upsides. I have a bowl of fruit sitting on my kitchen table which would probably be worth thousands of dollars less than 200 years ago. I am sitting in my parents house typing this post into a beautiful Mac desk top. I am going to take a hot shower and then meditate and then crawl into a wonderful, and soft bed. There is a lot to be grateful for which is why I meditate daily and write down 5 things that I am grateful for each night.

But if I am being honest with myself the truth is that I feel completely unsatisfied with my sex-life (or lack thereof). I have not kissed a girl in over 8 months.

I am a fit, intelligent, and attractive 22 year old dude. Sure I may struggle with depression and anxiety but I am tired of letting these things rule my life. For years now I have been telling myself that my sex life is about to explode. Three years ago, during my freshman year of college and that summer I forced myself to ask girls on dates. That summer was actually the most successful summer sex wise in my life, even though I was incredibly anxious. Probably because I actually took action.

I will start to prioritize my sex life. I don’t think that doing this and also focusing on making money and self development are mutually exclusive. In fact, I think that they are complementary and will actually feed into each other. I may download OkCupid, I may not. Honestly, dating apps are almost addictive for me so I may steer clear.

But from this point on. Right now. I am going to focus on this area of my life. I am so tired of feeling inadequate so I don’t even try, only to get jealous when I hear about other guys’ sexual experiences. I am the only person stopping myself. Tomorrow I will talk to 3 girls. It doesn’t even need to be in a sexual was. Perhaps I will try to make them laugh.

Do you want to join me?